Thank-you 49ers...

...For the return of my sex-life...

I got some on a Sunday for the first time in 8 weeks. For the good of Bay Area Football widows, please try that whole "winning" thing again...and soon. I just can't handle my man being depressed each and every Sunday--not to mention the scotch bill has been getting pretty high.

So, every day on the way to Daycare, we drive past a church that has a giant cross in front of the building--It's bigger than the trees that surround it. Every day, my 4.5 year old son asks, "Momma, what's that?"
Me: "It's a cross, it means there's a church there."
Him: "Oh, what's a church?"
Me: "It's where people go to learn about Jesus." Change the subject.

(I was raised Catholic, but have been inside a church maybe twice in the past 10 years, and am not practicing any religion, so feel no need to get into religion with my kids at this point in their young lives.)

The next day:
Him: "Momma, what's that?"
Me: "It's a cross, it means there's a church there."
Him: "Oh, what's a church?"
Me: "It's where people go to learn about Jesus." Change the subject.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Every day.

Today he asks, "Why does the church have a cross?"
Me: "Well, it's kind of like there sign. You know, like McDonald's has the golden arches on their sign so you know it's McDonald's?"
Him: "Ooohhh. Okay."
Me: "Does that make sense?"
Him: "Yeah Momma, Church is like McDonald's."

Cleaning house...

So, I already started cleaning my house--not just the normal, every day cleaning, the "I'm gutting out the cupboard under the kitchen sink" cleaning...and have a list of stuff I want to get rid of or replace, and then I see my horoscope for this week. (Free Will Astrology.):

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Move the furniture around. In
fact, why not move some of it right through the front door and out of your life? If we're lucky, this will get you in the mood to launch a purge of everything that no longer belongs under your roof. Maybe you could throw a Simplification Party, complete with an exorcism. Or corral your friends for a haul-it-all-away caravan to the garbage dump. I don't care how you do it, Cancerian. Just get rid of all knick-knacks, wall hangings, funny mirrors, broken dreams, balls and chains, and formerly cute mementoes that have lost their cuteness. It's time to liberate your home.

Replace:

• Couch
• Kitchen Chairs
• Craftsmen shelf in living
  room??
• Maddie's toddler bed??

Get rid of:

• Toys toys and more old kids'
  toys
• Half the junk in my storage--if I haven't
  looked at it in two years, I probably don't need it
• Ditto for the boxes of ?? in my closet from
  when I moved....
• Old kids' clothes
• Baby stuff (Because Lord knows I'm not
  having any more kids!): Crib, car seat, jumpy seat, bouncy seat....who
  knows what else in my storage.
• Clothes that don't fit me anymore.

Organize:

• Clothes in my room--maybe if I clean my
  closet, I can actuallyhang them up!
• Kitchen cupboards
• Metro shelf in laundry room--if I don't use
  it, throw it away, organize what's left.
• Kids' room...again...
• My desk--I'm sure it's under all that other stuff...I think...
• My room in general...
• My car--I spend 20 hours a week in it, I may as well enjoy it more :-)

Blahh...now if only I can find some kid-free time when I'm not already at work to get this done :-)

Sense of humor, anyone?

So, I picked out this t-shirt for my man--which he, of course, loved, and promptly purchased. Last night while wearing the shirt at the gas station, the woman pumping gas next to him gave him a dirty look and huffed at him. He even got a, "Well, I never!" To which, he replied (with a smile), "You know the best part? My girlfriend picked it out!" So she huffed.

I wish I had been there. I would've handed her a quarter.