Laughing Tantrum Release Therepy...I should try it

So, I've had a very testing and trying night with my children. They didn't want to eat what I made for dinner...so I made them something else, which they barely ate. AARGH! Of course, then, they are hungry, and want a snack. Which I won't let them have. So, I'm "Mean." I'm simultaneously taking care of them, arguing with them, answering the blackberry, cleaning out the fridge, and doing dishes...and I haven't eaten yet myself. All the while, they are fighting with each other. Because they're cranky. Because they didn't eat their dinner. And I won't give them a snack. Which makes me mean.

And Maddie needs me to do everything with her. Go Potty. Go get a doll from her room. Brush her teeth. I have to be next to her for everything. While I'm making food, cleaning the fridge, answering the blackberry, doing dishes and telling Peter to eat his dinner while he plays with legos. *SCREAMS*

So I put the kids in the bath...Maddie wants to brush her teeth, but not with the toothpaste in the bathroom, with the toothpaste in Peter's suitcase. But she won't go get it by herself. I snap. I refuse to go with her to get it out of the suitcase that's two rooms away (in my tiny 700 sq ft house everything is no more than two rooms away...) Tantrum ensues. I stick her in the tub anyway. More tantrum. I take her out, dry her off, put her jammies on her and put her in bed.

Both kids are hungry. But I won't give them a snack. I offer them their dinners, but that's not what they want. So I'm mean.

*SCREAMS*

I feel like a bad mom. I spent half the night being sharp or short with my kids. Maybe even yelled a couple times. But JESUS, can they listen? Can they let me sit for 2 minutes? I would have loved to have spent half the night sitting on the couch with them watching a movie...but I don't have time for that when I'm cooking two dinners, cleaning up after them, fighting with them over basic things like taking a bath. I'm so tired. I'm at my wits end.

Once I finally got two minutes to sit, I looked up my Free Will Astrology horoscope for this week:

Free Will Astrology, May 21st:
CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you're normal, you periodically feel little surges of anger that you don't express. Over time they may accumulate into a mass of blind rage that can hurt innocent bystanders, damage your relationships, and tempt you to punch holes in walls. Is there a way to keep this from happening? Yes, there is: It's my patented Laughing Tantrum Release Therapy, a five-minute ritual that you perform once a week in a private place with no witnesses. For four minutes, you fume, seethe, curse, and yell. For the final 60 seconds, you compel yourself to laugh uncontrollably. This week would be an excellent time to start integrating Laughing Tantrum Release Therapy into your routine.

It is uncanny how much this applies to me, and how much Free Will Astrology horoscopes tend to apply to my life.

Sigh. Don't mind me while I yell profanities for the next five minutes, then bust out laughing. I'm not crazy. I'm just practicing Laughing Tantrum Release Therepy.

Cleaning house...

So, I already started cleaning my house--not just the normal, every day cleaning, the "I'm gutting out the cupboard under the kitchen sink" cleaning...and have a list of stuff I want to get rid of or replace, and then I see my horoscope for this week. (Free Will Astrology.):

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Move the furniture around. In
fact, why not move some of it right through the front door and out of your life? If we're lucky, this will get you in the mood to launch a purge of everything that no longer belongs under your roof. Maybe you could throw a Simplification Party, complete with an exorcism. Or corral your friends for a haul-it-all-away caravan to the garbage dump. I don't care how you do it, Cancerian. Just get rid of all knick-knacks, wall hangings, funny mirrors, broken dreams, balls and chains, and formerly cute mementoes that have lost their cuteness. It's time to liberate your home.

Replace:

• Couch
• Kitchen Chairs
• Craftsmen shelf in living
  room??
• Maddie's toddler bed??

Get rid of:

• Toys toys and more old kids'
  toys
• Half the junk in my storage--if I haven't
  looked at it in two years, I probably don't need it
• Ditto for the boxes of ?? in my closet from
  when I moved....
• Old kids' clothes
• Baby stuff (Because Lord knows I'm not
  having any more kids!): Crib, car seat, jumpy seat, bouncy seat....who
  knows what else in my storage.
• Clothes that don't fit me anymore.

Organize:

• Clothes in my room--maybe if I clean my
  closet, I can actuallyhang them up!
• Kitchen cupboards
• Metro shelf in laundry room--if I don't use
  it, throw it away, organize what's left.
• Kids' room...again...
• My desk--I'm sure it's under all that other stuff...I think...
• My room in general...
• My car--I spend 20 hours a week in it, I may as well enjoy it more :-)

Blahh...now if only I can find some kid-free time when I'm not already at work to get this done :-)